Night 3 - Where do I begin?

Tonight didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. But it was fine.

Well, I fluffed up a little. GASP! But covered it each time, by improvising or scatting, and for some songs, it sounded really nice. Heh. The guests were so supportive, most of them hearing every note (some which I felt were waaaay off) and applauding every song. One of them who visited before was dancing again which always makes me glow inside. So I hope I see him tomorrow too. :-)

Had a request for "Blue Bayou" which went very well and the requester said he loved it. But he mentioned that I sounded like Linda Ronstadt though he preferred Roy Orbison's rendition. Note to self: ask if there is a version the requester prefers.

Sad to say, I was a total scatterbrain tonight (and not just from scatting). There are some songs I know so well and do not need lyrics in front of me. But for the rest, I have what I call insurance, or my lyric book, also affectionately known as my messy black file. So scatterbrain Jil couldn't find her lyrics when she needed them. Which forced me to sing a few songs without my safety net (totally psychological I realise), and I must say... I surprised myself. I knew them by heart after all. I supposed I knew that I knew them all along.

It was only when I doubted myself that the fluffs happened. Why oh why? And I even missed my stop because I was so engrossed with sorting out my lyrics on the bus on my way home, which made me think I still hadn't reached my stop. And the next thing I knew I was miles away from home! (so the time of this post publication isn't the actual time)

I felt so angry, I refused to take a cab since it was my own darn fault and I sure as hell did not deserve a cushy extravagant cab ride home. Frustration got the better of me as I walked. Fortunately, it dissipated as quickly as it exploded and by the time my senses beckoned me to flag a cab, there was none to be found. Feeling terribly irresponsible and not very smart, I called my dear mom who picked me up from the street like a hungry stray. I normally wouldn't call her for anything, so I felt guilty and found it slightly awkward but also very sweet. The last time she drove to my rescue was Chinese New Year last year when she thought I was dying from sepsis, which was almost true. Long story. In her car, amidst her gentle reprimanding, I was saying "sorry" a lot, then I turned it into "thank you".

Perhaps tonight was a lesson of sorts. Mostly that I gotta be more confident. The show is on. Tomorrow is going to be unmistakably awesome!